Monday, January 22, 2007
6:11 AM
Bookmarked
I attempted to write a story about you
But real life interrupted
You took my cue
Seized me into the remnants of the disrupted
Trying but failing
To complement, to fit
Leading only to immense hurting
The absence of the flushed cheeks - the heat
Your sugar-coated lips
Embellishes my poetry, the way you fuss
And the deep reverberation -oh how I miss
Into the night, the cord entangles us
My story pauses, ink replaced with blood
The pages ripped, long forgotten in mud
hohoho wrote this in math class. i recently fell in love with sonnets.
through the shakes and breaks
dance and fun
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
10:50 PM
ok..
maybe black is better.
anw.
life should be taken easy
if you push yourself too hard and all,
you'll never enjoy life.
and whats the point?
cause people kill to live
people do almost everything to live.
its like a whole vicious cycle.
life so so contridictive
so ironic
like wth.
here i'm saying people should take life easy
there people are taking life too easy
- comitting sucide and all.
what for actually.
these problems are too much to handle.
so sometimes you shouldn't bother.
not worth
no point
who cares.
go away.
you know.. sigh.
i'm talking nonsense
or maybe i make sense.
through the shakes and breaks
dance and fun
incomprehensible, life is.
what an irritating piece of shit my bio textbook is. like why should i care that the bloody protein is of GLOBULAR or FIBROUS structure? and i know i have gone there about a MILLION TIMES. but URGH. at least bio is like intriguing. chem is shit. shit i tell you.
sigh. sigh sigh. my friend's friend died.
deaths everywhere.
why won't people learn to appreciate life, hmm?
why don't people get it?
why don't people get it that life isn't about studying. it isn't about doing well in your examinations. it isn't. it isn't it isn't it isn't. what about people. how come my classmates are so bloody EQ-deficient?! life IS about PEOPLE. if you have no EQ, you are a worthless piece of shit. pardon me.
sigh. singapore's education system is so freakin screwed. i can't believe it drove so many people to suicide this year. suicide. 17, 18 year-old guys. suicide. death. dead. forever. no more. zilch.
haiya. it's very irritating. i wonder if it's VIP that is making me so disillusioned with everything. cynical, even. death. right next to life. i wonder what my classmates are doing in VIP if all they wanna do is mug. besides, mugging isn't going to take you further in life. and gosh i've talked about this a TRILLION times. but i'm fine with talking about it. even though i sound like a broken tape recorder and i'm so bloody freaking annoying lol.
and whatever happened to making a difference in others' lives? i mean, what is your life FOR, man? if you're not going to bother making a difference, no matter the scale, no matter how, you're worthless. you can start small. by like, not smoking, for smokers. or save paper. save the earth. or just.. drop an sms to make someone smile. everyone has that ability. to make others smile. it's only whether you want to or not. and isn't a just a great feeling knowing someone is smiling because of you? or just smiling, regardless of why? its nice, don't you think, to make someone happy?
like, spread the love. once they are happy, they will make others happy. and it's like some polypeptide chain. ((: and karma, you know. it will eventually make its way back to you, this happiness. it's all interconnected, life.
why don't so many people get it? sigh.
through the shakes and breaks
dance and fun
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
7:31 AM
hellooo.
long time no post.
i have been seriously overblogging.
hm. sometimes there is just SO much i want to say, you know. but i don't know how and where i can start. hmm. VIP VIP VIP. it has made me realise so much, you know. it has made me a lot more aware. of things. in general. of people. of life. of singapore. of myself. of the system.
and the more i study, the more i realise i do not need to study at all. why the hell do i learn math. and chem. and phy. and even bio, which i am mildly interested in. even things like geog, which i don't learn. but still. how pointless are these subjects. and the more i look at them, the more i reject them. i'm starting to reject math. alot. even though i get it. but it's so irritating and tedious! and WHY are we doing math. as if its going to help me succeed in life!
what i want out of life. i like writing. i want to WRITE. I WANT TO WRITE. before i die, i'm going to publish a novel. hahaha. or at least some of my work. which i hope are good enough. sometimes i really really wish i could be better at writing. i want to be so much better at like, lit. and LANG ARTS. and this sort of thing. but i'm not. and yeah. but all i want right now is to work towards my dreams.
sometimes i wish my family could understand me more. i mean. my mom claims she's open-minded. but she doesn't listen to what i have to say at all. she insists on imposing her point of view onto me. but I DO HAVE MY OWN OPINIONS. i have my own attitude towards things. i know she gives me a lot of space. and capacity to do what i want. but what about what i think? i can never think the same way as she does. i'm just not the same. right, we are both frank. we are both candid. we both ARE indecisive. i am SO similar to her. but i'm not the same. i am not. please. i just want her to listen to me.
she doesn't allow me to have a boyfriend. not that it's going to stop me if i really wanted to have one, but.. it sucks. i mean gosh. stop freaking thinking it's going to affect my studies. BECAUSE I WILL NOT ALLOW IT TO. but part of me is afraid that it will. but. part of me knows i will be able to handle it. i am mature enough. i believe so. and so WHAT if it affects my studies, really.. so what. am i supposed to hold back my emotions and pass up on a wonderful relationship or a wonderful period of time i can share with a person that brings me inexplicable memories/experiences? am i supposed to? for stupid things, like GRADES? which aren't even that accurate a yardstick to measure intellect.
i would like to believe i'm smart. sometimes i think i'm pretty average. but most of the time i'm convinced i think too much. and although that might not make me smart, it doesn't make me stupid either.
and well. i'm quite afraid to be posting this since it consists of so much of what i am thinking of these days.
hm. i'd like to think i'm mature as well. mature enough to handle my own affairs.
though i know sometimes i can be so wilful.
sigh.
and people. people will hurt you. they will desert you. human nature to be selfish. why is it so hard for people to care? i'm lucky. i have friends and family whom i appreciate so so much. but some people get hurt. by this selfishness. by human nature. by themselves. why do people wanna deny themselves. why do peoople wanna put up a front. do they find it hard to be true to themselves? why?
if i like a person for who the person is, am i supposed to accept his flaws? logically yes. ideally yes. but. in reality, it's quite hard. i'm learning. i'm starting to accept. i know i can.
sometimes i wonder why i myself care about things like how we look. i mean. i know its human nature. i know its POINTLESS to think about it. i know saying that i wonder doesnt make it go away. but. i still wonder. and, we all have our own ideas of beauty. but mostly similar ones as to what is asethetically pleasing. and oh gosh. i can't believe i'm saying this on a PUBLIC blog but i shall. (and pray very hard no one but geri will read it) WHY DO PEOPLE ALL THINK THE GUY HAS TO BE TALLER THAN THE GIRL?
i mean if you think about it. its just a traditional or stereotypical way you look at couples. WHY SHOULD THE BLOODY HEIGHT MATTER. oh god.
and i KNOW it matters. cos if it didn't, i wouldnt be blogging about it.
okay, feeling-honest-moment over.
man. sometimes. i just want to drop everything and stop caring.
I HATE FEELING SO BLOODY TIRED OF CARING.
oh well oh well oh well.
sometimes i'm afraid of having expectations. because i'm aware of disappointment. yet. fulfilment?
but expectations. i expect so much from myself. and from others.
i don't think they are always met. but i guess. expectations aren't meant to be met most of the time.
oh well.
gooderbye.
through the shakes and breaks
dance and fun
Thursday, August 24, 2006
4:35 AM
YEAH!
I REVIVED IT!
VOLLEYBALL ROCKS.
wheeeeeeeeeee
through the shakes and breaks
dance and fun
Saturday, July 08, 2006
10:31 AM
since i refuse to post on my blog.. i shall post here!
YAY
HAPPY BRITHDAY KORKOR
YOUR 19 NOW SO YOU'LL HAVE 19 CANDLES ON YOUR CAKE
GOSH! BET YOU CAN'T COUNT.
YOU PROBABLY WONT READ THIS ANYWAY
through the shakes and breaks
dance and fun
Monday, April 24, 2006
5:10 AM
HELLO TO THE WORLD.
yining.
through the shakes and breaks
dance and fun
yoowhooo!
control myself!
She licked, off, her lip, gloss
Her hips, tossed, back, and forth
Side, to side, and up, and down
She touched, the ground, it turned, me out
I'm battling desire
Lord help me douse this fire
This internal inferno
Hotter than a shot of Cuervo
Her top was short and purple
Belly dancing in a circle
When I feel like this I can't resist
Stop it don't make me hurt you
i shall blog about fri night! thanks pixie harry and renee for the party=) it was fun. at least i had fun dancing with mimi sam and jolyn and moe ofcourse and deb too. aiya every one la.
i'm going to start gym in bishan sooon! yay so excited. shit 3 test this week and man i don't feel like studying at all. chinese!! thats my biggest worry. anw, yingr's love is leaving on 5 may! yayeee!
uhhhhuuuuuuh!
through the shakes and breaks
dance and fun
yoowhooo!
control myself!
She licked, off, her lip, gloss
Her hips, tossed, back, and forth
Side, to side, and up, and down
She touched, the ground, it turned, me out
I'm battling desire
Lord help me douse this fire
This internal inferno
Hotter than a shot of Cuervo
Her top was short and purple
Belly dancing in a circle
When I feel like this I can't resist
Stop it don't make me hurt you
i shall blog about fri night! thanks pixie harry and renee for the party=) it was fun. at least i had fun dancing with mimi sam and jolyn and moe ofcourse and deb too. aiya every one la.
i'm going to start gym in bishan sooon! yay so excited. shit 3 test this week and man i don't feel like studying at all. chinese!! thats my biggest worry. anw, yingr's love is leaving on 5 may! yayeee!
uhhhhuuuuuuh!
through the shakes and breaks
dance and fun
Thursday, April 20, 2006
3:00 AM
what do you get when you fall in love.
a guy with a pin to burst your bubble.
what doo you get with all those troubles?
i'll never fall in love again.
what do you get when you kiss a guy.
you get enough gems to catch pneumonia
After you do, he'll never phone 'ya
I'll never fall in love again
take the lead is a really good movie
watched it with jamie on flag day!
so fun.
flag day is scary/
when cass and i went to ask this australian to donate
he said something something something singapore government are murderers.
some crap la
but it was so freaky.
its none of our business anyway!
we're only kids.
pooo.
mmm. i just ate two mini magnum,.
so yummy.
and i smell my dinnner!
yay
byebye
through the shakes and breaks
dance and fun